I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
