you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
