I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
