matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
