They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
