The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
