No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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