the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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