Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
