Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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