After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
