i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
