Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
