And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize