I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize