scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
