i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
