what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
