mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
