So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
