I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
