so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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