I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
