I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
