i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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