I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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