I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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