You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
