I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
