Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Im part way to drunk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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