At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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