well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
