just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize