Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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