They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You are a genius and a whore.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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