Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
