and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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