Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
