I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
