Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
