I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
