Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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