Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
