Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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