I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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