tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
