Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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