Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
