yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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