You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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