I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's shark week go big or go home
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
