Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
