i think my tv is drunk
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
