East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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