i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
