Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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