he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
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