i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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